Dear diary,
I woke up this morning with a man all dressed in purple standing over me. Speaking with a funny accent, he told me he was an Obeah man sent to destroy me and my website and that his name was "Jebus", but I could call him Richard. Well, this, of course, was preposterous to me and I decide the best course of action was to respond to this preposterous situation with something equally aburd. So, not letting on that I was the least bit concerned, I simply smiled and offered to make him a cup of coffee which, at the time, was the most contrarily absurd thing I could think of. He politely declined, but asked if I had any chicken blood instead.
Clearly, a battle of absurdities was afoot. Not to be out done, I leaped out of bed, closed my eyes and launched into the crazy chicken dance, spinning in circles, flapping my arms and making clucking noises at the top of my lungs. In the distance, I could hear dogs barking and what sounded like a woman yelling "sunny, wait up"! This woman and her dogs were distracting me from my performance and I was annoyed. As I spun and spun, I worked my way over to the baseball bat by the door and when I was close enough, in a single spinning motion, I grabbed the bat and swung with all my might at Jebus's head, but he was gone. There it was again, getting closer...the woman kept on yelling..."sunny, wait up"..."sunny, wait up"...as she got closer, and louder I could make it out better. She was yelling "honey, wake up"..."honey, wake up".
As I opened my eyes again, I could see I was no longer in my bedroom, but in my front yard, naked, freezing cold with a baseball bat in my hand and in front of me, on the ground, was what looked like a pile of purple chicken feathers. I reached down and picked up the purple feathered boa my wife had left over from a holloween cosutme and my wife promptly escorted me back to bed before the neighbors had a chance to call the police.
It was all just a wildly fantastic bad dream, just like Richards accomplishments.
"Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment"
Originally Posted by cabrera
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